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Dear Black Girls: They Don't Deserve You

March 13, 2020

Recently in Blackistani news, The Baby punches a fan, two separate black women get jumped by two separate groups of black males in close proximity to each other, and a little black girl exposes what the “community” really does to the psyche of dark skinned black girls and women. This is all connected.  

Your sons and your community are devouring your daughters and these incidents are why I refuse to bring a beautiful black child, especially a little girl, into this mess. 

So one of y'all's Kangz pimp smacked a black woman and to my utter surprise (but of course not really), the community came to his defense. Y’all may not like what I'm about to say but I don’t understand the constant outage and indignation every time something like this happens. Black women and people will support the dysfunctional behavior of black men towards black women and then act shocked when it happens on the public sphere.

The same people who backed Snoop for talking crazy to Gayle are the same people outraged over Dababy smacking that girl. I’m not victim blaming but I’m sure that girl knew about Dababy's past indiscretions, anger issues, lack of self control, and overall very clear small man syndrome and supported him anyway. However, I am very glad sis is lawyer-ing up and I hope she gets all the money she is entitled to. 

By now we all know the story of the 15 year old black girl who got jumped by a gang of thugs In Brooklyn. Lesser known however, is the attack on a 26 year old black woman in Bed-Stuy. Like the teen girl, she was beaten, stomped, punched, and had her shoes stolen and yet again, the community is “outraged”.

So let me get this straight...Because I don’t agree to stay in a community where your sons are stomping out my image in broad daylight, I tell you maybe you shouldn’t have that kid in the hood without a proper father figure and continue to perpetuate the cycle of poverty that leads to this behavior. And because I refuse to support your bad decisions, I’m not your sister? 

 

But black males can disrespect and harm black women and at the end of it, if something happens to them, they are viewed as our brother’s, father’s, uncles and cousins, even when to them, “Dark bitches bring dark days”. 

 

Okay.

Once upon a time, a little dark-skinned girl looked at herself in the reflection of the phone and said she was “so ugly”. 

 

Once upon a time, that little girl was me. 

When I saw that video, I immediately began to cry. Instances like these can sometimes humble you and make you realize that you still have work to do, wounds to heal, and the little dark-skinned girl you once were still lingers. I remember feeling that ugliness, not really understanding what I was feeling, or why but just knowing that because I looked the way I did I was at the bottom. That feeling that i’m sure little dark-skinned girls everywhere have felt, or are currently feeling, are the insidious seeds of colorism budding.

As demonstrated by the little girl, it starts early. I, like the girl also had family members and people in my life who reinforced my beauty, which is why I was able to quickly overcome these feelings and I can only hope the same happens for her. But this is why the black community does not deserve the wombs or energy of dark-skinned black women. We may be valued individually, however, as a collective we are seen to be at the bottom and black girls pick up on this collective thought process very young. A community that does not value the image of their mothers, do not deserve immortality through their wombs.

 

P.S. 

I get some comments on the unsavory nature of my tone and while I understand I can be abrasive at times with my writing, I am not going to apologize for it and it will likely continue as long as the bullshit continues. 

 

Liv is a new blogger for DDS Magazine. She graduated University in 2018, with a degree in History & English Lit and in her free time is an avid creative writer, History & Fashion enthusiast, as well as a cat-mom to three kittens. When she is not creating, she works at a children's non-profit and enjoys spending her weekends doing Pilates, hiking, shopping and indulging in Sci-fi novels. 

 

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