*DISCLAIMER*: This message ain't for everybody.
In recent blackisphere media news, there has been a lot of talk about Jodie Turner Smith. The beautiful actress of the movie Queen and Slim announced that she was not only married but pregnant! To most, this would be something to celebrate; A dark-skinned black woman who is having kids in wedlock with a ring and man right by her side. So what’s the problem? Well, he’s white. And as anyone who is part of the community knows, black women are only allowed to be happy, married, having kids in wedlock with black men...who are largely not doing the same for us (*Cough* 80% out of wedlock rate).
I’m not here to discuss how hypocritical black men are, how they wouldn’t even be checking for a Jodie in the first place, or the double standards when it comes to dark-skinned black women dating out. I’m here to address my fellow dark-skinned women. Since black men love to trash us, make fools of us, mock us, and think they can carry on this community without us, make like Jodie and take your womb and go.
Black women for the most part seem to have this idea that they can guilt black men into caring about them, or loving them. The colorism in the community runs too deep, men are wired to associate the woman that they have on their arm with status, and to many black men dark-skinned women are undesirable and low-status. Unfortunately there is not much we can do to sway the minds of our men and I've accepted this long ago, I implore other sisters to do the same.
We as a collective need to stop begging for black men to see our worth. When you are in the superior position you should never beg, or defend that position you show them what that position is. Black men think that Becky, Maria, and Ming Li can best a black woman and carry on the black race, silently nod your head and take your reproduction to another community. If we as women want our respect, we should be willing to bring this community to the brink to make that point.
Before you write me off as another bitter black woman who hates black men, and the community, let me say that this isn’t a new idea. One of the more notable examples is Asian women. With the advent of the one child policy, the horrible laws and customs that left Asian women vulnerable to abuse, death and neglect, and other cultural reasons; Asian women capitalized on their exoticism and went in droves to marry white men.
Now you have Asian men on blogs, vlogs and forums begging their women to choose them and writing think pieces on this phenomenon. In the Philippines, a group of women started a sex strike due to the violence, warring and disrespect of their men with pretty positive results. Personally, black women need to stop complaining and pleading, get out of their feelings, get on code and be a force to be reckoned with.
Liv is a new blogger for DDS Magazine. She graduated University in 2018, with a degree in History & English Lit and in her free time is an avid creative writer, History & Fashion enthusiast, as well as a cat-mom to three kittens. When she is not creating, she works at a children's non-profit and enjoys spending her weekends doing Pilates, hiking, shopping and indulging in Sci-fi novels.