Growing up as a woman in the most culturally diverse country on the planet has given me the opportunity to be exposed to the different perspectives on femininity. I was also lucky enough to explore different cultures and ideals on what a woman’s role was in other societies by living abroad on many occasions. However, in many woman’s groups, particularly those that cater to femininity, there is a tendency for focus and praise to be given to a singular mode of feminine expression.
A group focusing on a particular branch in the larger tree of femininity is understandable however, when we begin to demonize one part of the tree in praise of the other, we partake in behavior that is akin to biting the hand that feeds us or defecating where we sleep. Femininity is one of the topics where by narrowing its modes of expression we do ourselves a disservice. It is not my intent to push for a more fluid idea of what the feminine is, but instead to give due reverence to what has always been feminine.
Chrissie’s latest video on the other side of feminine expression does just that. Her video can be seen here. In short, it talks about dark feminine energy; a side of femininity that is often overlooked or demonized as counter-feminine. Society likes to think of the feminine as perpetually airy, soft, delicate, and creative. It does not impose, disturb, nor discomfort. It is in a constant state of helplessness and like a child, the true feminine lacks authority and power for subservience and care. This perspective on femininity is short sighted and akin to perpetual self-infantilization. While youth and juvenility can be feminine, infantilization is regressive and pitiful. In this article I will begin exploring archetypes that are still feminine despite not being your typical feminine archetype.
The Goddess is the woman who fits so comfortably into her skin it almost appears as if she created herself. She wears a crown of clouds on her head, but her mind is far from gone. Her thoughts are just more elevated than the rest of us and she knows this. She has mastered the art of bringing to fruition that which she desires. This causes many to think she is a miracle worker but that’s far from the case. She just understands the power of intent + action. She’s typically a child or an older woman. The Goddess tends to have a presence that lingers long after she’s left and it leaves you wondering if she’s ever really gone. The Goddess doesn’t suppress nor condemn any part of herself for there is no thing and no one on this earth that can convince her that any part of her isn’t of divine
Her anger is always justified and timely as is her joy, desires, and sadness. Despite the fact that she doesn’t suppress any part of her nature she is not controlled by her nature either. On the contrary it is she who is in control of… everything. If you’ve ever been in a heated argument with a woman who you were sure would destroy you where you stand and then suddenly the storm clouds disappeared, and all was right again in the world, you’ve just experienced the temper of the Goddess. She was letting you know that your actions upset her, not that she was necessarily upset with you.
She doesn’t hold grudges often but once she’s developed a grudge it takes an enormous sacrifice on your part to make things right with her again. Women like the Goddess can appear bipolar or psychopathic but she’s not. She’s just in so much control of herself that she can take on this supernatural, non-human appearance to us regular folks who are constantly at the mercy of our emotions and desires.
She wouldn’t think of herself as having any flaws, but she has a way of making others feel small and unimportant when they get close to her. Also, no matter if she's wronged you or if you've wronged her, it is always your job to mend whatever tears they may be in your relationship with her. She is best suited in roles where she is at a distance from others and working in the background or where she is in the absolute forefront and the commander of attention (not necessarily the center of attention but she doesn’t mind that either).
Despite making those close to her feel small and insignificant, she has a way of making those that don’t really know her feel like they are the most important person in her life. Despite knowing very well how divine she is, The Goddess doesn’t take part in our earthly hierarchical creations and will lend her assistance to whoever calls her name no matter how undeserving someone might appear to us. She seems to always be their whenever you need it.
Her compassion and kindness seem to know no end. Despite how willing to give of herself she is, the Goddess does not impose nor force her presence anywhere. She feels compelled to be of service to humankind, but of course not without a sacrifice of some kind. The Goddess is not the giver but the giver and the taker. The rainstorm and the rainbow.
In the next article on this series of feminine archetypes I’ll discuss the Maiden. While there are a few women who fully embody certain archetypes, most of us tend to embody different archetypes during different phases in our life depending on our state of mind. So know that there are different ways to be feminine that differ from just one idea on hyper femininity.
Lilith is a blogger with an emphasis in writing and reflecting upon social agendas that effect black women. When not at her computer writing she is more than likely still at her computer, programming. On the rare occasion that Lilith isn't at her laptop you can attempt to find her exploring the Chicago food scene or attending workshops in creative writing.