April 3, 2020

There are few infirmities that ravage a life more than that of a wounded heart. Being intimately injured is an experience that almost no one walks away from unscathed. And Just as our skin might toughen over a bruise for protection, so too do we hide behind a tough exterior in order to protect ourselves from what hurt us.

Many people demonize the act of curbing one’s behavior due to unpleasant experiences but like our bodies,...

March 26, 2020

For majority of us, it could be said that our first lessons in self-awareness are given by our families. That is to say that through the people most invested in our happiness and well being, do we begin to comprehend the weight of our words, deeds, and actions. While integral to our identity and sense of security in this world, being socialized by people who care so deeply about us gives us a warped sense of reality.

In this w...

March 12, 2020

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love.”

– Elie Wiesel

We are, each of us, at the center of our own universe. Yet every so often, and only for the luckiest of souls out there, do we get to experience a relationship so pure that it expands the boundaries of our inner worlds. These pure relationships often come in the form of a parent’s love for their child and the love shared between siblings or even brief exchanges...

March 6, 2020

In recent media and news, we are seeing the continued impact of colorism, level up, and black women empowerment conversations on the image of black women and girls, specifically dark skinned black women and girls.

On the reality entertainment front, we see a positive representation of a dark skinned woman being loved on and cared for by a provider man. On the big screen, we finally see a healthy black relationship with NORMAL...

March 5, 2020

If there was one phrase that I could erase from the dating world, it would be that opposites attract. In my naivete I entertained relationships with individuals from worlds that were not only different than my own, but opposed to my own. I had convinced myself of this idea that despite having little in common, a mutual attraction for each other and a few vague intertwining interests, would be enough for a relationship. “Maybe...

February 27, 2020

We know all too well the many different phases a relationship goes through. There’s the courting phase, then the dating phase, followed by the honeymoon phase, and then (what most people assume) a period of stagnation. However, like life, humans are in a constant state of change and this leaves little room for stagnation in relationships.

In many healthy relationships, couples fall on the same page in terms of life plans and t...

February 21, 2020

Think about this scenario:

You are sitting at a bar in a nice restaurant, on a very nice side of town. You are enjoying a delicious fruity cocktail while looking good, feeling good, and enjoying the slow, smooth music. Just as you daintily raise a finger, beckoning the bartender, a non-black man approaches you.

He makes eye contact, asks how you are doing, and kindly introduces himself. He then offers to buy you a drink. The co...

February 6, 2020

On a trip back to Los Angeles I walked into a tea shop and caught up with an old-ish acquaintance of mine. I first met her years ago on a trip to France. She made sure I got home safe after deciding to walk home alone from a bar with young, naïve, drunken, adamancy.

I hadn’t spoken to her since leaving France, but I saw her post about going to Los Angeles the same week that I would be there and thought “quelle chance”. I hit h...

January 30, 2020

The honeymoon phase can appear never ending when you’re the one in love. Eventually though, the rose-tinted frames you’ve dawned must come down at some point. When this happens, it might feel like some of the spark has left your relationship.

One moment you were an inseparable team and now you’re lucky if you get a kiss on the forehead before you both part ways as the day begins. It’s common for relationships to lose some of t...

December 13, 2019

For many of us the scariest thing about breaking up is this fear that you won’t ever find better than what you’ve had before. We convince ourselves that our ex was as good as it gets and either try to rekindle things with them or quickly leap into another relationship with both eyes closed.

Being single feels like a punishment worthy enough to have its own level in Dante’s Inferno and we are willing to do almost anything to no...

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