May 15, 2020

Some of us are content with supporting the hive, and then there are those of us who are only content with being the queen bee. This woman doesn’t shirk at the thought of being in charge and puts her all into everything she does. There are those of us who fear competition, and those of us who embrace it, this woman on the other hand is invigorated by it. Her eyes see farther than that of us mere common folk. While we’re busy be...

April 30, 2020

It’s quite natural, this desire to fit in. There are so many psychological benefits to being not just part of the crowd but accepted by the crowd. When you fit in somewhere, you acquire a sense of belonging and there are few things better than feeling like your presence is desired somewhere. We conform to a number of social expectations in order to fulfill our desire to be accepted....

April 23, 2020

For the first 18 years of our lives (give or take) we had someone else over watching our social affairs. They decided what time it was appropriate to socialize, with who it was appropriate and where. You weren’t afforded much privacy and nothing that belonged to you was ever really your own. This is compounded if you grew up with siblings. These aren’t inherently problematic, but as a product of these circumstances, many of us...

April 20, 2020

Many moons ago, I wrote about the relatable black girl, mostly as it relates to the phenom of relatable Youtubers. This time i’d like to talk about the quirky black girl representation that we are FINALLY getting in the media. By “we”, I mean a specific demographic of black girls who grew up not really liking, or doing the things other black girls, or kids did.

Maybe you blasted classic rock, went through an emo phase, were a...

April 8, 2020

We are currently living through an unprecedented time in modern world history with COVID-19. I am sure that in 50 years, scholars and bright eyed school children alike will learn about this time and make assumptions about the level of seriousness and panic, but the everyday reality is much different. At times, situations can seem surreal and at this point I'm almost numb to current events. 

However, I think that it is very...

January 23, 2020

It’s not uncommon for followers of a movement to contort and narrow the words of those who head movements. People struggle with hearing what’s being said and instead choose to hear what they want to hear. They decide to disagree with the speaker before they’ve even spoken or will whole heartedly agree with what they thought they heard. This occurs often in the black communities’ femininity movement which has led people to narr...

January 9, 2020

Growing up I never really had much and what I did have needed to be divided amongst several other of my brothers and sisters. My mother did the best she could with what she had but it was clear that despite her efforts, living at home would offer me little stability and so I asked my bougie older cousin if I could live with her. She was much older than me at the time and had already raised 1 kid who was already an adult now.

I...

December 26, 2019

Tis the season to fall into old habits. There’s something about the holiday season that makes indulging in unhealthy behavior appear absolutely fundamental. Apart from the obvious reasons like aggressive marketing by companies who all but shimmy down your chimneys and force your finger to press buy or force that entire bag of cookies down your throat, the holidays have a way of taking your guard down a notch.

The months of Oct...

December 6, 2019

Growing up as a woman in the most culturally diverse country on the planet has given me the opportunity to be exposed to the different perspectives on femininity. I was also lucky enough to explore different cultures and ideals on what a woman’s role was in other societies by living abroad on many occasions. However, in many woman’s groups, particularly those that cater to femininity, there is a tendency for focus and praise t...

October 3, 2019

Imposter Syndrome. 

It’s an issue that plagues countless people, no matter the race, gender, or socio-economic status. However, no one talks about the particular kind of imposter syndrome that I, and many other black women face. I have spent innumerable hours overthinking all of the ways in which I wasn’t good enough; refused to raise my hand in class because I didn’t want to get the answer wrong and then be labeled “The u...

September 10, 2019

I cannot think of another time during my lifetime when labels mattered quite as much as they do now. As our world does the best it can at being progressive with the embrace of people of all colors, orientations, sizes, ages, and so on, more and more groups are compelled to raise their collective voices to place the spotlight on their cause, even for a brief time. It’s beautiful; the process through which a group of oppressed p...

August 8, 2019

Unfortunately, the only representation that black women see of ourselves is often extremely problematic. Most of the time, we are masculinized and depicted as "strong black women" capable of handling inhumane levels of mistreatment. Other times, we are portrayed as jezebels, or overtly sexual beings whose only desire is sexual gratification. This type of representation arises out of a desire to dehumanize black women and justi...

August 1, 2019

It was never acute—the self-loathing. While I can’t say I ever felt like a million bucks, I also wasn’t walking around looking for the nearest bridge to jump off of (like some of my angsty, white, adolescent counterparts). While my Caucasian friends were complaining of freckles, acne and what they deemed as overly shapely figures, I had somehow remained untouched by the all-too common experience of adolescent self-hatred. Alth...

July 30, 2019

As black people, we often reference a “code,” but so many fail to “stay on it,” which has me questioning if it truly exists. Here’s what the code would include if I wrote it, and side note, I’m sure there are other things. But here’s where I would begin:

Black women would be polite to each other in public.

This isn’t to say we cannot disagree with one another, but we need to raise our collective frequencies and decide to stay si...

July 25, 2019

Black women are amazing and beautiful and deserving of so much more and better than the world is currently willing to give us. But unfortunately, sometimes I wonder if we truly know this truth, or whether we just love to trend hashtags like #blackgirlmagic for the fun of it. Here are four important ways that black women shoot ourselves in the foot before we can even get in the game and play.

1. Picking Up The Pieces For Everyon...

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